Last week we talked about the need to step into our dreams so we can trust that when our children do the same, they will be alright. Today is about the hardest part of that.
The hard part about stepping into our dreams is all of a sudden what should happen next gets fuzzy.
This is a bit counter-intuitive, because to step into your dream you must first define it. So you’ve got a good sense of where you want to go, but when you start to move towards it something difficult happens. We lose our way. What to do next becomes hard to see. Suddenly there is no instruction manual to follow. No course curriculum to track. No corporate scorecard. No map. We’re in uncharted waters and we’re all on our own.
It must be this way. There can’t be a map to your dream. If there was, it wouldn’t be your dream. And you must be alone. No one can accompany you. If they did, it wouldn’t be your dream. People will help you. You’ll be amazed at the angels who appear to guide you through portions of your journey. But they aren’t on the journey with you in a way that creates security. Their life isn’t on the line. They aren’t deciding what should be done next. Only you can decide that.
It’s a lonely experience. I know because I am on my path. I’ve had the sense of moving through the dark for the past few weeks, leading up to a fund raise that kicked off yesterday. I’m doing something I’ve never done before, for which there is no instruction manual. There is no way to figure out how to raise the money except to do it. There is no one truly on the journey with me. Many people have come along to help. And, at the same time, I’m on this journey on my own. If I were to stop, it would not happen. It’s scary. There is no way to be 100% sure it will work out. All I have is trust in the future.
All I have is trust in the future.
This idea ties together what I’ve shared over the past few weeks about how to help your children achieve their dreams.
When we are pursuing our dreams, all we have is trust in the future. When your children pursue their dreams, all you and they will have is trust in the future.
The hard part about trusting the future is that it doesn’t feel secure. Your body knows you’re taking a risk. It knows something could happen that will hurt. That is the cost of being alive. It’s the cost of setting out into the world and living instead of staying back where it’s safe and watching Netflix. It’s uncomfortable, but you can get used it and it’s alright after that.
There is no security in stepping into our dreams, except that which is found through trusting the future. It’s like stepping into the dark with a flashlight. As you move the flashlight around, you get a sense of your surroundings, you can safely move forward a little bit, and you’ll see a little bit more. You have just enough light to get by, but you can’t see very far in front of you. That is the condition of living in the pursuit of your dreams.
Your children will live through this too. There is no escaping it. The best way for you to help them through it, is to step into your own dreams so you know what they are going through when they do the same. Then when things get dark and they feel like they don’t know what to do next, you can support them in staying on their path.
I sense this is where many parents doom or alienate their kids. If a parent's advice leads their child to jump off their path and onto someone else’s safer one, the parent has doomed the child to an under-fulfilled life. But sometimes their children are resolute and strong and they stay on their path despite their parent’s advice. When this happens, the child loses trust in their parent. Intimacy is falls away because the child saw through the lies their parents told them about what’s possible in life. It’s nothing less than treason for a child intent on following their dreams. Of course, their parents were just trying to protect them, but that doesn’t make a difference.
So when you or your child find yourself feeling around in the dark, celebrate the moment. You’ve made it.
Peter
CEO & Co-founder
